The Ever-Expanding Mind of Felix Millstone

06 November 2019

2685 words

Rated E for sexual content and recreational drug use

Warnings: describes a hallucinogenic experience on par with canon

Felix is bored beyond reason and decides to have some of whatever the vicar's been smoking.

The Unreliable orbited above whatever it was this time. Felix didn’t care. What mattered was that he wasn’t down there, wherever, and there was nothing to do aboard the ship.

Between Ellie and Max, it wasn’t a tough choice who Felix would choose to hang out with. Hell, he’d probably rather spend an afternoon chatting with ADA than bickering with Max, even though the computer freaked him out. Although, Felix’s views on him had been slowly shifting lately, as the vicar himself had started questioning his own views and be more open to others’.

Ellie wasn’t bad company. She changed subjects whenever the discussion was getting even the slightest personal tone, but they had enough in common to keep up a good conversation.

That didn’t change how boring and frustrating sitting and waiting around the ship was for Felix. Everyone else had their own thing to do around the ship—like Parvati obviously taking care of the ship, but even Nyoka had her alcohol tasting hobby. Okay, maybe someone should talk to her, but at least she wasn’t bored to death.

That gave Felix an idea.

“Hey Ellie, I just had an idea,” Felix said.

“Huh, go on,” Ellie replied indifferently.

“Did you know Max has some drugs stashed in his cabin?”

“Okay, so what?” Ellie looked cautiously curious.

“So I thought we could borrow some of that stuff. Just a little bit. Pick a quiet spot and trip. He’ll never notice,” Felix explained.

“Whoa, that sounds like a terrible idea,” Ellie rejected.

“Come on, you owe me one.”

“That’s low.”

“Don’t tell me you’re not the least bit curious.”

Ellie sighed.

“I don’t want to lie, but I still think that’s a bad idea. Things could go wrong,” she said.

“It’s not like we’re alone. ADA notices if we try something stupid and SAM patrols this ship around the clock,” Felix argued. Ellie sighed even deeper, as her curiosity got the best of her.

“Fine. Let’s do it. How do you know where he keeps it, anyway?” She asked.

“I saw him keep it near his bed once.”

“What were you doing there?”

“Uh, never mind that.”

They agreed on Ellie orchestrating a distraction in the kitchen while Felix was to snatch the drugs. The plan went over smoothly, and soon they were sitting in a hidden corner of the engine room.

“Couldn’t you have grabbed a pillow while you were at it,” Ellie complained, sitting uncomfortably in their cramped hideaway. Felix ignored her.

“Okay, here goes,” he said and took a deep inhale from the vessel. Nothing happened.

“I don’t feel any different,” he said disappointedly.

“Calm down, of course it doesn’t work right away,” Ellie said and breathed in the incense herself. “Now we wait.”

And so they waited. Felix couldn’t help but feel disappointed in the lackluster experience he was having.

“Are you sure you picked up the right stuff?” He heard Ellie ask and turned to her. Only her face wasn’t quite how he remembered it.

“Hey, have you always looked so beautiful?” Felix asked her.

“Oh, yuck, back off you creep,” Ellie said disgustedly.

“Not like that, I’m talking about your skin. It’s so… Radiating, and your pores, they’re like tunnels to the void of space,” Felix heard someone say in his voice.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” she said. “And how come only you’re tripping, anyway.”

Felix was too busy observing the flooring to pay any attention to her complaints. After spending what seemed like hours studying the intricacies of the various shapes and colors revealed one by one by the paneling, he saw mysteries of the universe unravel right in front of his eyes. Then, he saw a tall figure approach him from behind. He watched the man touch his own shoulder and him turning slowly to face the man.

“Finally, I swear he was totally unresponsive for like twenty minutes,” someone said in Ellie’s voice.

“Ellie, you need to come see this, it’s amazing,” Felix said.

“Ellie was worried for you, Felix,” said a deep voice.

“Max!” Felix exclaimed. “Have you seen this?”

“Remind me never to experiment with some weird-ass unknown drug again. I don’t even know what symptoms I should expect here. And why is it still not affecting me?” Ellie complained.

“How much incense did you use?” Max asked.

“Felix did, let’s see… Oh.” Ellie held up the vessel, still emitting light smoke. “This explains a lot, not me being unaffected though—Max?”

As Ellie turned, she found Max sitting next to Felix, patiently following Felix’s explanations of how love truly was the glue that held the universe together.

“But the universe is expanding as we speak,” Max questioned him sincerely.

“Uh, Max?” Ellie called.

“I apologize, Ellie. Felix is making a breakthrough.”

“No, nonono, not you too,” she cried.

“Felix,” Max said, turning back to him. “Are you feeling all right?”

Meanwhile, Felix was finally getting back the hang of himself. He was no longer floating above his body, a mere passenger watching a play unfold from the audience. He looked around him. There was Max, sitting beside him, the pattern in his vestments making him dizzy. Unsure if he wanted to feel dizzy or not, he moved his head to face the other way. Ellie was standing above them, her face still fascinating him.

“Max, look at her face, doesn’t—”

“Enough with my pores, dumbass!” Ellie screamed. “If mine is so bad, take a look at your own face and you’ll find a minefield of black holes.” The notion made Felix a bit concerned, although he recognized it could have been merely an insult.

“That’s impossible,” Max reassured him. “Ellie, you shouldn’t upset Felix.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” Felix muttered, trying hard to sound tough while the dizzying blue pattern danced around Max’s clothes. A sudden urge to touch the shapes overtook Felix, leading him to lean towards Max a little too forcefully. Both of them fell over to the floor, but neither saw it necessary to sit back up. So, on the floor they stayed, Felix laying on top of Max.

“Max, seriously, you’ve been here for five minutes. How are you already balls-deep?” Ellie asked.

“Thank you for the concern. But I’m all right. The incense is making me feel a bit heady, that’s all,” Max replied.

“I’m not convinced,” Ellie said.

“Fine. But you’re free to leave. To be blunt, you’re killing the mood,” Max said.

“What mood?” She asked.

Felix was wondering the same, but at the same time he felt an arm wrap around his back and another one creeping towards his neck.

“You knock that off right now. I don’t think it’s safe to leave you alone, especially Felix, but I don’t want to see a fucking show,” Ellie told them.

Felix wanted to protest as well, but his body enjoyed the vicar’s touch too much. The drug enhanced his sense of touch, making even the lightest pressure from Max’s palms send shivers down his spine.

From a distance, he heard a faint female voice speaking, among other things telling him to “cool off” and calling him “virgin”.

“I’m not a virgin,” he whispered in Max’s ear.

“Me neither,” Max responded. He then asked, “How many fingers do you suppose I could fit in your ass?”

“How many have you got?” Felix wondered.

“For fuck’s sake, I don’t need to hear this. Or see,” Ellie said as Max held up his hands while Felix was counting his fingers, quickly reaching twenty. “Whatever punishment Captain would give me for letting you guys hurt or kill yourself could never top this.” She marched out of the engine room, but neither Felix nor Max paid any attention to her.

Felix was still sitting on top of Max, holding his hand. He’d given up trying to count his fingers after they had slithered away, hid inside the nooks and crannies of the machinery, and grown anew over and over again.

“Take your clothes off, they’re making me nervous,” Felix asked, as the movement of the pattern was once again accelerating. Max didn’t question him. He sat up and somehow managed to undress with Felix still on his lap.

“Not all of them, but fine. Sorry your fingers ran off,” Felix said, only then realizing the sexual implications of his earlier request.

“You piss me off. I don’t want to fuck you,” he made clear.

“But can I fuck you?” Max teased.

Felix paused to think whether that changed anything or not. The blue pattern no longer distracting him allowed him to better focus on such deep questions.

Max’s expression grew more serious. He spoke again, in an unexpected clarity.

“You were breathing the incense for a long time. It barely affected me. You’re much higher than me and it would be wrong for me to take advantage of the situation.”

Max’s unexpected hesitation was sweet, although Felix figured that a man holding such high principles was expected to, praised for not sexually exploiting someone in a vulnerable state. Still, the drug was once again heightening everything around him, amplifying the meaning behind Max’s words. Suddenly, he felt moved like never before in his life. Also, horny.

“Taking advantage, meaning you’ve been wanting to do this for a while now, huh,” Felix realized. The idea excited him way more than it should have. He probably would’ve stripped naked as well, but he wasn’t exactly sure about where to begin. When he looked down, his body was very literally melting into Max’s.

As always, Max read his thoughts. Felix had a fleeting realization he was probably speaking the truth about being barely affected by the incense.

“I’ll let you take charge here,” he said. At that very moment Felix became acutely aware of being rock hard, which was an interesting sensation given that he wasn’t exactly sure if he even had a lower body anymore.

Maybe the drug had affected Max after all, since Felix could have never in his wildest dreams imagined him acting so submissive towards Felix. And, despite never wanting to admit, he had had some wild dreams. Or maybe it was about Felix being so high he could barely function. Whatever the case, this was probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—but before Felix could get that far with his train of thought, he’d already thrown himself onto Max, grinding what he believed to be his pelvis against him.

“You need to strip me,” Felix breathed.

“That wasn’t very assertive of you, but I will,” Max purred. Felix didn’t mention him how it was less about being assertive and more about him being physically incapable of taking off his own clothes.

Slowly, Max peeled off one layer after another covering Felix’s body. It felt like an eternity, but Felix didn’t particularly mind. Never before had simply getting naked felt so good.

When Max finally put his hands on Felix’s naked skin, it was like Felix had been stripped of his skin and Max was directly tapped into his nerves. Felix gasped.

“W-wait, I need to…” Felix tried feeling his own body with his hands and managed to get a rough idea of his position. He then proceeded to try find where Max and the floor were below him. As he slid his hand down across what had to be Max’s torso, he heard Max let out a quiet moan. Felix swallowed and kept going, drawing out even more criminally hot sounds as he went on.

“I think I want to fuck you, after all,” Felix said, each word almost getting caught in his throat. He was trembling, and no doubt Max had also noticed it.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” Max said invitingly.

Praying he wouldn’t lose track of his dick again, Felix moved down Max’s body. He fumbled for Max’s dick, causing Max to let out another noise, significantly louder than its predecessors. Felix’s head was spinning, and he knew that, nervous and high, he was far from an ideal partner. Max didn’t seem to mind, though, as Felix started moving his hand.

Each stroke felt longer than the last. Mixed with the engine room lights and complicated shapes in the machinery, they were borderline terrifying to Felix. He jumped when a hand suddenly and forcefully grabbed his wrist.

“Sorry,” Max panted, grasping Felix’s thigh with one hand and wrist with another. “You may want to slow down.”

“Shit, I got carried away,” Felix said. His own dick was hard as ever, and he wanted relief. He was hoping Max would step in and give him a slightest indication where to go next, but it seemed like this time Felix actually was in charge.

“Turn around,” he managed to command. Max obeyed. The motion sent the entire room spinning in Felix’s head. The colors looked like brushstrokes extending across the room, bleeding into each other, eventually blending together and running down.

Felix extended his arm to touch Max, wondering if his touch was as electrifying to Max as his had been to Felix. Felix traced his spine with one finger, pulling along some colored light that reflected from Max’s damp skin. He would draw a simple circle and watch it forever complicate until he wiped it off with the palm of his hand and start again.

The engine next to them was running warm, and Felix felt sweat dropping down his chin. The hum of the engine and the sounds Max made as Felix painted shapes on his back merged in his ears into a loud, thumping voice.

Gradually he moved down Max’s back, which was full of complex, spinning patterns of light by now. Then, he stopped with realization.

“Here,” he heard Max say, handing him a bottle of lube. Wherever that came from, Felix didn’t care to think of it right now. One after another, he inserted his fingers, losing his count after the first one. Somewhere in the back of his head, a voice of reason was telling him he probably shouldn’t fit an infinite number of fingers in anyone’s ass, so he stopped after what he thought was maybe ten, twenty fingers.

“Is that too much?” Felix asked, worried he’d gone too far.

“No,” Max said, breathing hard. “But unless I’m gravely underestimating you, I think it’s enough.”

Since Felix wasn’t exactly at the right state of mind to be measuring anything, he took Max’s word for it and pulled his fingers out, however many that was. Then, finally, he slowly pushed himself in.

The spinning sensation came back stronger than ever, and Felix had to grab Max’s sides hard not to fall over. Max reacted with a grunt and wrapped tighter around Felix’s dick, which in turn made lights flash in his vision.

“Shit, wait,” Felix breathed and collected himself again. “This probably isn’t the best fucking of your life,” he apologized.

“It’s up there with some quite remarkable ones.”

“Fuck, I’m spinning,” Felix said, resting his forehead on Max’s lower back.

“Lean to it. Just keep moving,” Max said, with such unexpected desperation and neediness Felix couldn’t help but start moving again. With each thrust his vision blurred, lights becoming harsher, colors more saturated. It was the both the most pleasurable and the most terrifying thing Felix had ever experienced, but he couldn’t back now. As his senses started bleeding and blending together like the colors earlier, he was starting to feel nauseated.

“Max, fuck, where are you,” he panted. He knew he must have come somewhere along the way, because the pleasure was quickly fading out, being replaced with more terror. He fell down into a white void.

Then, someone caught him.

When Felix came back to, he had no idea how long he had been out. They were still in the engine room, so probably not for too long. Max was holding him gently.

“That was something,” Felix said in lack of anything better to say.

“Yes,” Max, hair messed up and damp, replied.

“And the next time, I’ll be setting the pace,” he said, doing a 180 to his usual dominant self.

Figures.

& on AO3 | Category index